Webinar Transcript: College Essay Series: Intro to WRITE! Workshops
Elton Lin
Anna Lu (any pronouns): Hi everyone, welcome in.
Thanks for joining this evening for the second installment of our college essay webinar series. We've got an exciting topic planned for tonight: our WRITE! workshops, which will be starting this July, and how these workshops can help your student get a strong and effective head start on their college essays.
Today I'm joined by Kyra and Sagrika, who will be walking us through all of this. If you would like to introduce yourselves: Kyra first, and then Sagrika.
Kyra Jee (she/her): Absolutely. Hey everyone, my name is Kyra. I'm a college essay specialist and curriculum developer here at ILUMIN, and I will be hosting these WRITE! workshops. We're really excited to launch this series next month – to get you all off and running on your college apps – and we are glad you're here today. Nice to see you all.
Sagrika Jawadi (she/they): Hi, my name is Sagrika Jawadi; I use she/they pronouns. I am an essay specialist at ILUMIN, and I've been working at ILUMIN (and helping people with their essays) for a year and a half now. I also helped develop the curriculum for WRITE! – so I'm really excited to share what we have planned with you all.
Agenda
How can you give yourself a head start?
How can the WRITE! Workshops demystify essay prompts?
What can students expect from each workshop?
Sample Student Profile and Essay
When & Where to Sign Up
Q&A
Kyra Jee: Okay, let's get started!
Looking at our agenda today, we're going to go over some ways that, seniors, you can give yourselves a head start on your essays this summer – including WRITE! We'll give you the goal of our workshops: what they are, and how you can take this time to make some serious progress with your essays – hopefully so that we can get a better understanding of what all of these different schools are looking for, and why. Then we will end today looking at a sample student: to show you how you can get the most out of WRITE! (With a bonus essay critique.) And, finally, a Q&A for how you can sign up.
Hey, seniors!
If you’re not sure…
What to write about, or where to start
Whether your essays will make a difference
Which examples to emulate, or what advice to follow
How much time to spend on your essays
How to get confident about your writing
…then you’re in the right place!
Kyra Jee: The WRITE! workshops are designed for two different kinds of students – or students in two different stages of the writing process. That includes:
Those of us who are just getting started – if you're wondering what even is a “supplemental essay” (why are you calling it that) – then this is the right place for you to get started with your brainstorming, and to get familiar with all the different types of prompts from the very beginning.
We also designed workshops for those of you who feel fairly comfortable, confident with your writing for most of the essays that you'll be working on this season… but maybe one or two schools (or one or two prompts) are giving you grief.
The bottom line is: if you're a senior looking for help with your essays this season, then you're in the right place.
How can you give yourself a head start?
Map out the playing field! Get organized:
Schools
Majors & Minors
EA/ED/RD Deadlines
Essay Prompts & Word Limits
App Platform (Common App, UC, CSU, Coalition, etc.)
Research each of your schools:
What do you like about the school?
Collect names, website links, and contact info!
Use the same professional email when demonstrating interest!
Get familiar with the college app essay as a genre:
Join the WRITE! Workshops to tackle the core components & tricky questions!
Sagrika Jawadi: Now we're going to talk about how you can give yourself a head start: either by yourself or with ILUMIN.
First of all, the biggest thing you can do to get started is to get organized – and start making lists:
Lists of all the schools you'll be applying to,
Lists of the majors and minors associated with those schools that you're going to apply to,
All the dates you want to keep track of for every deadline,
And what essays you'll need to write.
You can do all of this on one major spreadsheet with everything on it.
Another important thing to include is what platform you'll be submitting the application on.
The next thing you could do to get ahead is research each of your schools. This is important: not only so you write strong essays for the school, but also so you're confident yourself that you're going to a school that is the right fit for you. That's always an important aspect. That might just be Googling the school and looking at its website, or looking at certain social media pages to see what they have posted on there.
The last thing you want to do is start getting familiar with the college application essay as a genre. It is very different from academic essays – and, for a lot of us, it's our first time writing this style of essay. It's important to understand how it's supposed to be written. (That's where ILUMIN can help: either with one-on-one specialized help, or by joining those WRITE! workshops.)
What are the WRITE! workshops?
Webinar
Target a specific “type” of prompt
Advise on strategies & reminders, from the research stage to word choice
Analyze student samples from popular schools
Work Session
Dive in right away to apply new knowledge
Dig deep for key goals, memories, & insights
Get personalized feedback on your ideas & drafts!
Build on brainstorming, outlining, & revising worksheets
Kyra Jee: The question of the day: what are the WRITE! workshops, and how are they formatted?
Each week on Zoom – throughout this webinar series – we're going to host a lecture-style webinar and a workshop focusing on one specific type of college essay prompt. So, for example:
We'll take a look at those “Why Us?” essays – which are those essays that are asking students why they think they're a good fit for the school or the major.
We'll look into those essays – maybe you've seen them already – that ask how you will contribute to your school's diverse community.
We’ll even break down the activity list descriptions – which are a huge part of your Common App and your UC applications.
Along with some strategies, tips, and tricks during the webinar, we will also read and analyze some sample student essays from popular colleges – to contextualize what successful essays (or what strong essays) might look like for you.
After that webinar, we will transition into a two-hour work session – where you can get started immediately: applying everything that you just learned to your own prompts, essays, and schools.
Each workshop is going to be staffed by specialists from our wonderful essay specialist team – so that you can work one-on-one to get personalized feedback on your ideas and your drafts. That way you are walking away not only with all of the knowledge from the webinar and everything you worked on in your two hours, but also written feedback that can help you take your next steps – and apply to even additional schools that might fit that topic.
What will students bring home from each workshop?
Significant progress on essay drafts
Guided worksheets you can apply to additional schools with similar prompts
Brainstorming
Outlining
Revising
Written feedback from your assigned Essay Specialist
A copy of the lecture slides for your own future reference
Sagrika Jawadi: Okay, what will you bring home at the end of each workshop?
First of all, you'll have brought significant progress on essay drafts. We're not only giving you content and teaching you the best strategies for writing these essays, but we're also giving you time to work on the drafts. So you'll be coming back with some tangible work that you've done on any essay – maybe multiple essays.
You'll also take home worksheets that you can use for the brainstorming, outlining, or even revising portion of working on those essays. Even if you come in with absolutely nothing (not even an idea of what you're going to write) you can leave with some ideas – and maybe even an outline.
You'll also get written feedback from your assigned essay specialist – so you'll be able to keep that, and maybe even apply it to other essays as needed. And you'll be receiving a copy of the slides that we go through: so you can refer back to them for other essays that you write.
When and where are the WRITE! workshops?
Saturday afternoons
1:00 – 3:30 PM (PDT)
July 15th – October 14th
Zoom invites will be emailed out in advance!
After 9 unique webinars, Round 2 will cycle back to 5 of the most critical topics
Note on Deadlines: UC (11/30), Early Action (11/1), Regular Decision (1/1)
Sagrika Jawadi: The WRITE! workshops are going to be on Saturday afternoons from 1:00 to 3:30pm – and they start in mid-July and go until October.
When you sign up, you'll be getting an invite in your email ahead of time – so you can click on that link.
After we go through nine unique topics, our second round is going to cycle back to some of the most critical topics – which include how to do your “personal statement” [for the Common App] and PIQs [for the UCs].
We have some deadlines on the back that kind of correlate with our schedule.
Example student: Amelia B.
Rising senior
Ballet dancer
Wants to major in psychology after taking AP psychology during her junior year
President of Environmental Club
In her free time, she likes to take hikes with her dogs
Dream School: Chapman University
Kyra Jee: We are especially excited about those worksheets that Sagrika just mentioned. We are trying to give you tools and resources: things that you can bring home and apply to as many of your essays that possibly fit into these themes. We get to focus on a different topic each week – because there are a lot of similar prompts and things that these colleges are asking for from you, and we want to help you, being as efficient and thorough with your time as possible.
Now that we have introduced you to the WRITE! workshops, we want to walk through and show you how you could get the most out of WRITE! yourself. So meet Amelia, our sample student for today.
Like most of you, Amelia is a rising senior. She's danced ballet for most of her life. After taking AP Psych in her junior year, she's decided that she wants to major in psychology. She's also the president of the environmental club at her school. And likes to hike with her dogs.
Her dream school is Chapman University.
Sagrika is about to walk us through all of the different prompts that are required by Chapman for students applying.
Chapman University prompts
Personal Statement (via Common App)
Out of the thousands of universities and colleges, why are you interested in attending Chapman? (200 words are fewer)
Please tell us about your interest in the major you selected (200 words or fewer).
Choose one of the two prompts below to answer (200 words or fewer):
Choice 1: Personal Values: Our committee would like to hear about a personal value, experience, or lesson that has shaped your identity, behavior, aspirations, or commitment to a sense of belonging. How did it develop and/or change over time and how would it add to the diverse and welcoming fabric of our campus community?
Choice 2: Personal Growth: Part of the Chapman experience is to help students evolve their perspectives. What types of personal growth do you hope to explore at Chapman and how can Chapman help in your growth?
Sagrika Jawadi: This slide lists all of the prompts. First of all, we have the “personal statement” – which you'll be submitting to any school that you apply to via the Common Application platform. After that, the rest are supplemental essays that are specific to Chapman.
Chapman asks:
Out of the thousands of universities and colleges, why are you interested in attending Chapman? That's like a “Why Us?” essay.
They also have a “Please tell us about your interest in the major you selected.”
The last one is you get to choose between two prompts:
Either you could do it on personal values: where you would talk about a personal value, experience, or lesson that has shaped your identity, behavior, aspirations or commitment to a sense of belonging – and talk about how it developed and/or changed over time. And: “How would it add to the diverse and welcoming fabric of our campus community?”
Or you could talk about personal growth, which is: “Part of the Chapman experience is to help students evolve their perspectives. What types of personal growth do you hope to explore at Chapman, and how can Chapman help in your growth?”
These are all the essays that Amelia is going to have to do for her Chapman application.
Chapman University prompts
Fast Facts: Please answer the following questions in one word, phrase, or sentence. There are no right or wrong answers here. We hope you enjoy working on this section as much as we’ll enjoy reading it.
What is your dream job?
What are three words to describe yourself?
What song should we be listening to while reading your application?
Name one dish you would cook for our admission team.
What is your favorite subject?
What is the top thing on your bucket list?
What makes you happy?
If Chapman’s admission team came to visit your hometown, what site would you take them to?
What can you give a 30-minute presentation on without any preparation?
What is something you have always wanted to learn but never had the chance to?
What are the best words of advice you have received?
Sagrika Jawadi: Chapman also has these “fast facts” – which are really, really short answers. Like it says, you answer them in one word, phrase, or sentence. It's really, really short.
Some of those questions are:
What is your dream job?
What are three words to describe yourself?
What song should we be listening to while reading your application?
Name a dish you want to cook for the admissions team?
What makes you happy?
What is something you've always wanted to learn, but you never had the chance to?
What are the best words of advice you've received?
WRITE! workshop topics
| Prompts | WRITE! Workshops |
|---|---|
|
|
Kyra Jee: Perfect.
So let's say we are Amelia. Let's take a look at which workshops are best suited to help this student with each of her essays.
On the left we see the prompts that are required by Chapman… and on the right, workshops that would be applicable to breaking down that essay and figuring out how to build a strong essay.
So we have the Common App personal statement. We're going to hold two different workshops both covering how to build that 650-word essay: one in July and one in September.
For the school-specific “Why [us]?” essay, we've got a workshop in July and another one in October – about doing the research and figuring out how to approach essays like that (which is also going to be our sample in just a minute).
For that “Why major?” essay, we've got a workshop in early September focusing on STEM (and: “How to write about your major creatively?”) – which is totally applicable for our psych student.
For that list of fast fact questions, we've got a workshop in August and one in October about how to pack as much story into the smallest character counts possible – so that’s for the short answers.
And then, for that last tricky question (with the choice between discussing a personal value or personal growth) we've got a workshop that I'm particularly looking forward to in August: which is how to write authentically about diversity, identity, and community.
Taking a look at these five radically different types of prompts – all for just one school – by attending workshops that can help Amelia build her strong essays to match each of these specific prompts, she can feel perfectly prepared to apply to her dream school: which is the goal of the series.
Potential essays
| Why us? | Has resources to study psychology, interested in research. Environmental club |
| Why major? | Took AP psychology. Want to apply psychology to other fields, such as forensics or child development. |
| Personal values | Ballet. |
| Personal growth | Study abroad, hope to grow to be a more cosmopolitan person with an awareness of all countries and cultures |
Sagrika Jawadi: Now we have some potential topics or potential experiences that she could use to write her essays.
Something that I want to note is that, when writing these essays, we want to make sure that each is showing a different side of yourself – and you're not being repetitive. For example, if her Common App essay is about ballet, then she probably doesn't want to talk about ballet in one of her supplemental essays – because they're going to see both. You want to take every opportunity you can to share more about yourself in these essays.
Some potential topics are – for the “Why us?” essay – she can talk about how Chapman has the resources for her to study psychology, and how she's interested in research: which makes Chapman a great school, as it's a research university. She can also talk about how she's president of the environmental club – which makes her really excited to participate in all the environmental initiatives going on at Chapman.
For the “Why major?” she can mention that she took AP psychology: that's what got her interested in majoring in psychology… and that she wants to apply psychology to other fields, such as forensics or child development while she's at Chapman. One thing that's good about that one is she says why she's interested, and then she says what she wants to do with this: so there's a reference to the origin and a reference to the future of how she's going to apply that.
If she chooses the personal values prompt, she could talk about ballet: which is something she's been committed to for 11-12 years. So it has definitely shaped her identity in some way. I think that would be a great topic to talk about for that prompt.
Or if she wants to do personal growth, she could talk about wanting to study abroad – and that being an opportunity of how she wants to grow and learn at Chapman: by experiencing a different culture and being able to live in a different part of the world.
Sample draft: Why us?
Out of the thousands of universities and colleges, what excites you about attending Chapman University specifically?
The community at Chapman is alive and dedicated to supporting all students. The Crean College of Health and Behavioral Science at Chapman University has all the resources I need to study Psychology. Last year I took AP Psychology and found the relationship of sleep to wellness fascinating. Child development and forensic psychology are classes I would like to take at Chapman. One opportunity that intrigues me about studying Psychology at Chapman is being able to design my own research studies. When I visited Chapman, I appreciated that the students I met were involved in the campus community. I was also inspired by the beauty of the campus. The Musco Center for the Arts is extraordinary with its modern, open architecture. I have studied ballet for 11 years, so when I saw such a beautiful theater I felt at home. Also the stunning world language flag memorial caught my interest, as studying abroad is a dream of mine. I would also love to spend a lot of time basking in the peacefulness of the meditation room. If I have a chance to attend Chapman, I will contribute to the community by joining many clubs such as Chapman's Mission Environment Club.
Sagrikaa Jawadi: Okay, now we have our sample essay. I'm just going to read the whole thing out loud.
This is for the “Why us?” essay. I'll read the prompt again: “Out of the thousands of universities and colleges, what excites you about attending Chapman University specifically?”
Amelia wrote:
“The community at Chapman is alive and dedicated to supporting all students. The Crean College of Health and Behavioral Science at Chapman University has all the resources I need to study Psychology. Last year I took AP Psychology and found the relationship of sleep to wellness fascinating. Child development and forensic psychology are classes I would like to take at Chapman. One opportunity that intrigues me about studying Psychology at Chapman is being able to design my own research studies. When I visited Chapman, I appreciated that the students I met were involved in the campus community. I was also inspired by the beauty of the campus. The Musco Center for the Arts is extraordinary with its modern, open architecture. I have studied ballet for 11 years, so when I saw such a beautiful theater I felt at home. Also the stunning world language flag memorial caught my interest, as studying abroad is a dream of mine. I would also love to spend a lot of time basking in the peacefulness of the meditation room. If I have a chance to attend Chapman, I will contribute to the community by joining many clubs such as Chapman's Mission Environment Club.”
Now we're gonna point out a strength and a weakness that we see in the essay. We'll have Kyra go first.
Kyra Jee: Yes. But just for a little more context, too, before we look into – like Sagriika said – strengths and weaknesses: what we're doing right now is we're speed-running a little bit of what your experience might look like attending the workshops and getting feedback.
For this sample student, we've looked at what it might look like from the brainstorming stage: we have a student who knows their experiences, and is trying to match them to the essays (in our last grid). Now we're looking at: what if this student is bringing a draft of the essay, what might feedback look like?
When we said that we're hoping to be able to work with students in every stage of the path, we mean it: whether you have a draft, whether you're just getting started – we're walking through what that might look like.
So feedback: a strength and a weakness.
Taking a look at this essay, my favorite thing about it (as a “Why us?” essay) is that it is so specific to Chapman. This essay could not have been written about any other university. This was not a copy-paste-replace deal. And a college is going to appreciate that: we call it “demonstrated interest.” We can see: not only has the student done great research: maybe online (looking up that website and exploring the academic curriculum – what kind of classes they might take) but also referencing having taken a campus tour. They're pulling aspects of everyday life, what it looks like to be a student, and what their experience might look like in the classroom.
So my favorite thing about this essay is the sheer amount of name dropping. Name dropping in a “Why us?” essay is the way to go – because it demonstrates that you know exactly what you're talking about: you're applying to a school where you feel confident in the reason why.
Those are all great strengths.
If I were going to give Amelia some feedback in terms of reaching a next draft, I would encourage Amelia to maybe take a second and think about how we can organize more: add more structure to this essay. Even though the great thing about it is that there is stuff from psychology to Musco to meditating and research – there's all this good stuff in here – it's all in there together! Even something as small as cutting this paragraph in half (giving the reader a little bit more guidance) I think would be something that I would suggest to Amelia in this essay.
Sagrika Jawadi: I totally agree with both of those points.
To add on to the strengths, I think another strength she has is that, when she mentions her interest in something, for the most part she connects it back to why she's interested in that. She's not just listing things without giving any reason as to why it's important to her.
For example, she says she took AP Psychology. She mentions a little bit about why she's interested in psychology, however – and I think that's really important to do that without distracting from the main idea. You don't want your “Why us?” essay to turn into a résumé of things you've done (because it's tempting to use every essay as an opportunity to share about yourself). This essay is asking about “Why Chapman?” I like that she keeps coming back to that – while connecting it to her own experience.
However, I agree that it does need more structure. And, also, some things aren't super fleshed-out. For example, she says that she would love to spend time in the meditation room… but it's unclear why (or if she has some experience meditating, or what's going on there).
I think it's important, when you're writing these essays, to make sure that you're explaining why the things you're mentioning are important to you and significant to you – because if they just see that you have a bunch of things you like about it without any reasoning why, it doesn't really tell them anything about why you like it.
Even in the part in which she says, “I find the relationship of sleep to wellness fascinating,” it would have been great if she found a class that was maybe related to that… or something to connect everything together. That – with some more structure – would really get this essay to the next level.
How do I sign up for WRITE?
Join the WRITE! workshops!
Follow the link to our website! https://www.ilumineducation.com/write
Sign up for workshops by:
Date
Topic
School
Select Workshops individually or as a bundle based on your need!
Discount code: WRITE20
Kyra Jee: Okay, that was our speedrun essay feedback on this draft for a “Why us?” essay.
If you are wondering: “How do you sign up for WRITE?” Great question. You can go to a page on our website where you can take a look at the full list of our essay topics: ones that Sagrika and I talked about today, and a ton of other ones too. You can search by those: not only by which prompts are most relevant to you and your applications, but also by which schools you're applying to. Just like we looked at Chapman today, for every workshop we will be featuring three popular colleges whose required essays fit perfectly into that week's topics. If you see the school you're applying to on our list, come check it out!
We're offering workshops individually, and as a bundle with one of each of those unique workshops pooled together.
And we're really excited to be able to have a round one and a round two of a couple of those essays (repeated): so that way we can both scoop up students that are procrastinating and needing a little bit more help (by the time we get to September) and if you are coming back to revise. We're focusing on brainstorming, outlining, and revising – so if you were outlining and drafting in a first workshop, and then you find that you have another essay (or a school prompt) that is in the same field, and you want to come back and try and workshop those too… we have a second workshop.
One last note: if you are looking for even more personalized or “hands-on” support beyond the WRITE! workshops (which is what we were talking about today) we do also offer one-on-one consulting – in which you're paired with an ILUMIN essay specialist: which means that, if, after attending a WRITE! workshop, you feel a good connection (a good vibe) with your specialist that day and you want more of their help, you can also purchase hours to get direct support from them with the rest of that school… or even the rest of your applications too! You can keep building on the relationship and your essays that you got started with that day.
Still have questions?
Contact us at: essays@ilumineducation.com
Find us at: www.ilumineducation.com
What kind of coaching are you looking for?
Hourly Essay Specialist Consulting!
Kyra Jee: Okay, I think that's everything that we have for you today – which means that it's time for questions about anything that we might have talked about today, or curiosities: if there's a topic and you want to know if we're covering it, a school… let us know.
Anna Lu: Yeah, we definitely speedran it today!
If anyone has any questions, feel free to pop in the Q&A. We've got time if you've got questions.
All right, we've got one: “What would you say is the biggest difference between UC essays and non-UC essays?
Kyra Jee: That is a fabulous question!
The biggest difference between the UC essays and non-UC essays (which might include your Common App essays, or the regular supplemental essays that you're doing for some of those other schools) is, honestly, the way that the UCs themselves are approaching it. UC readers are moving fast. These schools are receiving so many applications from so many students… and that means that their approach is really fast. So the writing style that we write with to match that speed-read is to give them data points: as direct and straightforward as possible. It's more of a brag than you might expect: they just want to know your accomplishments.
On the other hand, the Common App essay and supplemental essays are more focused on who you are as a person: your personal growth, and what your personality looks like outside of the classroom. With the Common App (for example) showing vulnerability is a really great move – because we can get to know you as a person.
In the UC applications we only vulnerability when it's immediately connected to the problems that you solved, the things that you learned afterwards: blood in the water. In that way the UC applications are more (I would say) straightforward – and more based on your accomplishments. Supplemental essays are more based on all the other stuff that you bring to the table as a fully functioning human being.
Sagrika, what else would you add to that?
Sagrika Jawadi: You basically covered most of it I would say. Just to summarize: the UC admissions people are looking for ways to advocate for you – to convince others that you should be at their school. So they're just looking for some fast facts: like, “This person did this to serve their community. They did this to show leadership. They're interested in this major because they did this experience and took these classes: done.
But in the other essays they're really looking to get to know you. That's why they’re longer – and that is going to require more reflection.
So, like Kyra mentioned: the PIQs are more straightforward.
Kyra Jee: Another follow-up to this big question about UCs versus supplemental essays is that every UC campus that you apply to is going to get the same four essays. Which means that you can't quite tailor them to just one campus – unless you're only applying to one school! (Even then, it's more of a general, “What are your accomplishments as a student, and why are you interested in your major?”)
Whereas – for the supplemental essays, such as the great Chapman “Why us?” essay that we read today – it's all about research. You demonstrate interest in what you know about the school.
For the UCs – because they all get the same ones – you can't tailor it quite as well.
It's a good question.
Anna Lu: We've got another good question about whether or not there's a difference between our WRITE! workshops and the bootcamps that we have.
Sagrika Jawadi: I can talk about this.
We have these “bootcamps” – where they last about four hours for four days. So it's a 16 hour “bootcamp” – and we go very in depth, over not only PIQs, but also Common App, and a little bit of other essays too.
It takes all the students from the brainstorming stage to the outlining to the draft stage – and it's very intensive. (As you can imagine: it being four hours a day for multiple days!)
That's very different from the WRITE! workshops, which are just 1:00-3:30PM: two and a half hours. In the WRITE! workshops it's similar content, but much shorter – and only covering one topic. Depending on which workshop you sign up for, you'll be learning about a different topic: a different prompt to write about.
That's really the main difference.
Anna Lu: All right, a lot of questions about how essays work – which might give them a good taste of what the WRITE! workshops might be like.
Oh, actually one more logistical question: “How many colleges/colleges’ essays will be covered during these workshops?”
We have a whole list… but I'll let you guys talk about that.
Kyra Jee: Yes, that's a great question.
For the specific list, I would also direct you to the website to find which schools are associated with which topic.
We're going to cover probably one prompt each from 3 different schools for each workshop – and then walk through a sample essay of a student who applied to that university: so you can see in action what that looks like. And we'll do a little analysis (like we did today).
But the worksheets are not built for one university. The worksheets that we have created as resources for the WRITE! workshops are more customizable. Almost every school is going to have – for example – a “Why major?” essay. The lecture and the worksheets would apply to more schools than just the three that we'll cover in the webinar.
That was a great question.
Anna Lu: Yes, for sure check out the website: you'll see there is a section on the WRITE! workshops link that just lists a bunch of the schools that they'll be covering: Columbia, Purdue, Stanford, Penn… You can look at which college is most interesting to you: see which workshop corresponds to that, scope out your options.
All right: questions about personal statements – so we can give them a taste of how that'll be. “For personal statements, is it okay to write about different topics, or should you just keep to one?” And also: “What is the thought on needing a “hook”? Is a “hook” too gimmicky for an essay?” etc.
Sagrika Jawadi: In terms of that first question: it depends what you mean by “topics,” really. You want to make sure you're answering the prompt. You don't want to just write about a bunch of random things that don't really answer the prompt. But as long as it's answering the prompt, I think it's great to connect multiple experiences: to show a journey – because it is 600 words, so there is space to talk about multiple experiences that you've had. (You just want to keep them all under one theme: one big idea, one thesis that you're trying to communicate to the colleges.)
To give a little example: you’re talking about how you did robotics in high school, and then (over the summer) you also took a college class about robotics. So you connect two experiences – but they're related, and they both show that that's how you built your interest in robotics – or something like that.
So you want to keep it on topic… but you definitely can have multiple experiences in there.
As for the “hook”: it can work. It's not required – in my opinion; I don't know if Kyra wants to say more.
Kyra Jee: I like the robotics example that you walked us through: connecting a lot of different experiences under the same umbrella is a great strategy.
For a “hook,” I would say – if we're talking about the Common App “personal statement” – not required… but I would really encourage a “hook.” I think that the Common App is a great place to demonstrate your writing and your reflection skills.
If you're somebody who put a lot of time into other parts of your life that maybe weren't writing, that's okay: you've been thinking about it along the way too. We're not just demonstrating literal creative writing skills (although that is part of critical thinking, and that is part of the essay); but also just: “What insights have you picked up over the last four years? How have you experienced and demonstrated your values and your personal growth?”
Because all of those things are very storytelling-based, if a “hook” is part of the way that you would write your story, bring in a “hook”!
Unlike an English essay, you don't need a title. That's one of the funnier things that we see students get to learn… because you're doing this for the first time, right? Generally you don't have to write an application essay until you're applying to something – which means that your stress is up to here when you're learning it all at once!
But since it's different, we have different strategies… and it's looser than what you might have practiced before in English, writing an essay.
Anna Lu: It's no five paragraph essay, for sure.
Kyra Jee: It’s no five paragraph essay, for sure!
Anna Lu: Okay a question: “Can you just get ‘Counseling 101’ on reviewing the essays without going to workshops or bootcamps?”
I believe the answer is yes: we have essay consulting services. Plenty of information on that, also, on our website, if you would like to look into that: it’s under the “Services” tag.
I don't know if either of you have something to say about essay consulting.
Sagrika Jawadi: We're both “essay specialists” – so what we do is help students one-on-one on an hourly basis. You can purchase a package of [however many] hours you want, and we will help you with any stage of writing the essay.
So if you're just looking for someone to look at a few of your essays, we can definitely do that. Just sign up. (And if you want you can even request someone – if there's a specific person you're interested in.)
Kyra Jee: That's a great question! Everything Sagrika and Anna said is true. That's the main thing that Sagrika and I do: one-on-one consulting with students outside of additional things like “bootcamp” or WRITE! So it’s definitely available.
Anna Lu: Going on what Sagrika said about requesting someone specifically, if you do attend the bootcamps or the workshops – and you find someone who is leading one of those that you attend, and you really like them – then you can use that information and request them for the essay consulting as well.
More questions about essays: when you review a student's essay, what are the first things you look at? Maybe some big weaknesses you tend to see that are commonplace: how you approach that.
Sagrika Jawadi: It definitely varies based on the person.
I'm gonna guess this is a middle draft: not rough, not polished. One of the first things I look at is I make sure it answers the prompt. That is very important – and a lot of times you get so lost in the process of writing that you totally forget about the prompt, and you just start going. Which is great – but you want to come back to the prompt!
The other thing is grammar/typos. Those are small things that you can fix, but sometimes you don't notice them. That's why you get multiple pairs of eyes looking at your essays. That's another one of the first things that I look at.
Later on in the process, after I've talked to the student, I would probably look more into, “Is the student being authentic? Is this the best story and experience for the student to use to talk about the topic or the prompt?”
I can go on with a lot of different things that we look at… but I would say the big things that I look at right away are: are they actually answering the prompt, and do they have any major syntax/grammar/spelling mistakes?
Kyra Jee: I'm so glad you said “grammar” – because I think that is really important too!
Of course, when you're brainstorming, just put everything that's possibly in your brain on that paper. A metaphor that we like to use (or I like to use) is that you're trying to carve a marble statue. But that means you have to start from somewhere. You have to start with a big hunk of just plain old square marble – and chip away. If you try to perfect every single word as you go it will be very hard to build out from there – and you might be perfecting your first sentence that you will scrap when you get to figuring out what it is that you really want to write about!
That being said… totally, when we get further into the writing and you feel more comfortable with what you're talking about, taking some time to refresh on some grammar rules: proper nouns and run-on sentences… it is important, no matter what you're studying. It's just another part – separate from test scores and GPA. These are important – they have a story – but those are our numbers half. When we're getting to our essay half, we are also demonstrating more of our critical thinking: and more of the way that we learn.
Mechanics are part of that.
Anna Lu: One more question: “Can a student attend one workshop, or is it a package where all workshops have to be attended?”
Kyra Jee: Yep, that's a great question too. They are individual. If you find that you just really are so confused about where to start with writing authentically about diversity, and what that means to you – and you just want to come to one workshop and try it out – you can just do one.
We're also packaging one unique one of each round as a bundle that I think will be at a discounted price altogether – in case you want to to come and see all of them, and get all of the different workshops and outlines for all of the different types of essays that we cover.
Sagrika Jawadi: There's also a question in the chat, and it says: “What is the biggest weakness in essays that you find often, that you wish people would correct?”
I can answer that, and then Kyra can answer too.
There are two, actually, for me. The first one is authenticity. I think sometimes students just write what they think the colleges want to hear… but it's not actually their story. And it comes through. You think, “It's fine,” you can get away with it… but it comes through – and they can tell: “You are writing what you think we want to hear, but not what's actually true to you!” That's a big one.
The other big one – and this doesn't apply as much to the PIQs, but it does a little bit – is talking about experiences without any reflection. Reflection is super, super key. You can't just say that you did a super cool thing without explaining why it was cool and what you got out of it – because that's just that's an activity description, not an essay.
Those are the two big things I see. Kyra, I don't know if you want to add anything.
Kyra Jee: Those are great.
I think that the wisdom about writing something that actually meant a lot to you, versus it's just the “shiniest” thing that you might have done – or the thing that someone else told you would look great on your résumé… Yeah, it probably does. Great job. But if you're writing about it for a lot of words, you want to find something that is meaningful to you – which, unfortunately, is harder. So we have to take the time to brainstorm that. That was good wisdom.
I would say, for the UCs in particular – it's not a mistake so much as just something that we would caution against: the UC readers are reading it fast… so it's best to make it easy for them to find your data points. If they don't know about that, students might tend to focus a lot on exposition… when they really should be getting in, getting their answer, and getting out: for the UCs.
To end us off, I think the most “Yikes!” weakness that I've heard of is, for some essays, it does make sense to borrow the same body of the essay across your different schools – because if you have to write a “Why major?” essay 10 times, the reason that you chose your major will be the same; it's just like the name of the major, what classes they have, and what that school does with it that will change. If that's the case, you have to change the name of your school in every single paragraph!
I had a student: we got real close to the end, and then they just took an essay that they spent a really long good time working on for Cornell – like: they cared about it. And they remembered to replace all their research… except the last line of that paragraph – to their like U Michigan essay: “That's why I'm a great fit for Cornell.” I was like: go back, go back, go back, go back!”
So I would say that that is probably one of the easiest to catch and biggest things that will cancel your application so fast.
I think that's a really great example to end on too – because we do want you to be able to use the body (or the outline) for example, of a WRITE! workshop: to use multiple times. But that doesn't mean that we are not meticulous and careful about what we're doing: crossing all of our T's and dotting all of our I’s.
Anna Lu: It's always that small thing – that small detail – that gets you!
Please do check out the website – there is plenty of information there as well – and we hope to see you at the workshops.
Thank you so much for coming, everyone!