4 Questions for Jason Milan

Jason Milan is the latest addition to the ILUMIN team. He brings deep expertise in college application storytelling, rich experiences with international and intercultural living, and a sincere passion for mentorship. We asked Jason five questions to help you get to know him better:

What do you enjoy most about being an educational consultant?

I enjoy connecting with students who are looking toward a huge transition in their lives—a transition which prompts important questions about who they are and where they want to go. There’s nothing more meaningful to me than meeting a student wherever they are at that moment, then planning out what comes next. I pride myself on helping my students define their own values, identify the causes they care most about, and appreciate the memories and experiences that make them distinctive. 

As we work together to link the past, present, and future, I often form deep mentorship relationships with my students. Several have reached out to me after going to college just to catch up or express their appreciation for how our work helped them align with their vision for the future. A couple have even become close friends, years after college applications.

I find that deep understanding breeds trust, and trust is essential to a successful counselor-student relationship. That’s why I guide students to set their own challenging but achievable goals, then reach them. One particularly rewarding breakthrough many of my students make is in finding a new and unexpected link between two different interests or skills. For example, one thespian student discovered that she could unite her love for theater and social change by studying Augusto Boal’s Theater of the Oppressed. Such a link often leads a student to a unique path or project that they are exceptionally excited for. And searching for these breakthrough links together is immensely fulfilling. 

What do you think is the biggest challenge students face when navigating college admissions these days?

Cutting through the noise to focus on themselves: their own interests, passions, and desires.

To an outside observer, it may seem like college admissions has become just a numbers game. More and more students are applying to selective colleges each year. Rumors fly around that the whole thing has really just become a lottery. 

But that’s not true. In fact, at most colleges the selection process has been forced to become more qualitative, subjective, and personal than ever before. Admissions offices really care to make a connection with applicants, and they are keen to identify whether the applicant is actually a strong fit for their culture. This is an incredible opportunity for students to learn about themselves by researching colleges, then use that learning to prove why they’d do awesome things on campus and beyond.

But the downside of the modern era is that misinformation abounds and the internet becomes one big echo chamber. It’s too easy to go online and read all sorts of chatter about students who got in or got rejected. That’s a big reason why applying to college can be so stressful. Too often students face imposter syndrome, or find themselves confused as to what is expected of them, and why a college education might be meaningful in their own lives. 

I work with my students to find empowerment in the challenge of college applications. By keeping their focus on themselves, they can tell their own authentic stories without worrying about whether they are good enough. This means they don’t fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others, but instead define and appreciate their own strengths and growth areas.

What are some of the top qualities that selective colleges look for when assessing applicants?

One of the biggest is intellectual curiosity. Elite colleges are seeking students who are authentically thirsty for knowledge. They like to see that applicants have strived to build an understanding of some specific field or topic, because this shows that they will continue to explore their future interests in depth. One of my students, for instance, developed a fascination with biomimetic nanorobotics. Another found a flair for entrepreneurship and writing original analysis of startup challenges. Still another fused environmental science and psychology to do a field study of attitudes toward waste management in her local community.

But colleges are also sincerely interested in a student’s impact on the people around them. This means they are looking to see what legacy the student leaves behind at their school or in their other communities. Often, standout essays and detailed, glowing recommendations can capture the personal qualities that make a student so valuable to their peers, teachers, and the other people they care about. 

And perhaps most importantly, for both intellectual curiosity and community impact, colleges are seeking students who demonstrate long-term dedication. Students who have been committed to an activity for years, and evolved their engagement in it over those years, stand out for admissions officers. Demonstrating dedication can be done in more conventional ways, like growing into a leadership position in a school club, increasing the scope of community service, or finding internships or research positions. But it can also be done through building independent projects, launching organizations and businesses, and creating new opportunities for others. 

That said, if your student seems to bounce around between activities, that’s not the end of the world. In fact, back when I was in High School, I only stuck with a couple of things for years at a time — and they were mostly sports! Students like this can still show dedication by finding the threads that connect their different activities: the skills, values, or personal qualities that led them to pursue each of these diverse interests. 

Should students prioritize their academics and tests, or their extracurricular activities?

Yes. Colleges think highly of students who find their own balance between rigorous academics and engagement in activities outside of school. This balance is different for every student. But it’s important to remember that it is possible to find it.

One helpful way to consider this question of priorities is to think about the grades and test scores like the door to the hotel lobby, and the extracurricular activities and personal story as the keys to your very own room. Without grades and test scores that show a student is capable of learning at a college level, the student might not make it into the hotel at all. But after a student makes it through that first door, it’s not a done deal. It is then the student’s curiosity and engagement—as showcased through their activities and essays—that gets them the room. In other words, for elite colleges especially, grades and test scores more often decide who doesn’t get in, whereas activities and essays more heavily influence who does.

How can parents best support their children through the college application process?

First, by speaking openly and honestly with their child about the child’s real motivations for applying to college. Not every student is driven by academic or career opportunities—and that’s OK. Some students may be looking for a fresh cultural adventure, a certain social life, new friends, dedicated mentors, natural beauty, or urban excitement. Different teenagers are seeking different levels of familiarity and unfamiliarity.

Finding what is genuinely exciting for a student is paramount to keeping them healthy, happy, and confident through their college application process. Reminders of their purpose—not the purpose of their friends, or siblings—make them resilient to the challenges they will be sure to encounter when applying to college. And remarkably, focusing on their excitement itself is what helps students achieve their full potential on their own terms. 

Parents who have the most success supporting their college applicants start by asking them about what matters most to them, and listening. They add thoughtful wisdom and helpful structure, but avoid infusing the process with too many of their own biases. And they set the right expectations with their children, rather than for them.

Then, later, by trusting their child to hold themselves accountable to their own expectations. If the student doesn’t take a major role in driving the nitty gritty parts of the application process themselves, they may disengage or lose that spark of motivation. Depending on the student, some may be able to keep themselves accountable independently. But many get overwhelmed by the complexity of the college application package, or lost in questions of what to do, and when to do it. That’s one of the big reasons why families find outside support to navigate the practical steps of college admissions. The right support should remove tension from both the child and the parents, enabling them to stick to a plan everyone agrees upon while avoiding uncertainty and anxiety.